How to become in control of your emotional urges and respond with awareness

Let’s get real! Often there is a good reason for feeling whatever you feel. At times, our experiences are painful and cause us to feel unbalanced within our emotions and act out impulsive behaviours that are not of character. Although, it is essential to recognize that your feelings are legitimate and valid. Though, acting on our emotions can cause destructive outcomes. Allowing anger to drive you to attack with words can hurt your relationships with your loved ones. Fear can keep you from avoiding tasks and challenges and even paralyze you.

Below are four emotions which hold common emotional-driven behaviours that can be regulated and changed into a healthy response.

Anger

An impulsive reaction when angry can be to attack, criticize, shout and hurt another. By acknowledging what you feel, you can describe the emotion in words using a soft voice. It can help to validate the other person or distract yourself to avoid engaging when angry.

Fear

When afraid, an impulsive reaction is to hunch your shoulders, avoid, or completely shut down. If you take the time to notice your body language, facial expression and posture, you can identify the opposite of this reaction. How can you relax your face and body and change your posture to increase confidence? Standing tall, facing your fear and creating movement in what you have been avoiding will send messages to your brain as courageous action.

Guilt and Shame

We often punish ourselves, confess, apologize, avoid the situation or completely shut down when feeling guilty or ashamed. It is expected to take the blame out of insecurity or feeling inadequate. It is not to disregard the fact that you’re mistaken but to become sure of it. You can continue doing what makes you feel guilty, bring awareness to the point, and then make amends with the other if your guilt is justified. We all do our best with the information we have at that moment. What matters is that we do not punish ourselves for mistakes which were unconscious at the time. What matters is what we do afterwards to improve ourselves.

Sadness and Depression

Depression is accurate, and I am not here to judge the difficulty of this mental illness. I, too, have struggled with depression. However, this sadness is often a reaction to shutting down, avoiding the situation, becoming passive, hanging your head, and slouching. I agree that when depressed, it takes a lot more effort to create a positive change, but even the slightest change to your movement, body posture, and activity can change how you feel. Get involved, set goals, stand up straight, eat a plant-based meal, exercise and get some sunlight.

Are you having trouble identifying your emotions?

As a spiritual adviser, you can speak to or contact me here; I will help you face your limitations and emotional triggers to help you create a positive, confident, and compassionate response.